


Questionable Crapet

by clintbartonawarrows



Series: Clint Barton Bingo 2K19 [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), MCU, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Barton Bingo, Clint can't flirt, Getting Together, M/M, Nick can't flirt, brotp Phil and jasper, friday night rituals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 23:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18323954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clintbartonawarrows/pseuds/clintbartonawarrows
Summary: Neither Clint or Nick know how to flirt like normal people. Agent Sitwell and Coulson have a running bet, on who clues in first.





	Questionable Crapet

No one was exactly sure how it started or even when it started. But going to the same hole in the wall Bar became a Friday night ritual for four top SHIELD agents. It was oddly mundane when they actually stopped and thought about it. Not that, that happened often. No, their minds were otherwise preoccupied with psychoanalyzing the other regulars, and well a more internal conundrum that always promised to bring hours of amusement to Phil and Jasper. Nick and Clint were both excellent at their jobs. Phil would go on record and say the best with no hesitation. But when it came to doing normal human things the pair was like a train wreck. Jasper would have said that they were oblivious to people interested in them, but he had seen them both flirt, and it was very clear why they had no love life. Or if they did it was just a string of one night stands. Granted that was a feat in itself. Unless they were somehow magically better at flirty when it wasn’t in each other. But Jasper didn’t believe in magic so that meant they were just this bad all the time. 

The smelt like stale beer and the carpet was a mystery. It needed to be nuked. Not Burnt, thrown out or cleaned. No, it needed to be nuked. The finish was peeling off of the bar in large rubbery chunks. Also questionable. Basically, the entire Bar was questionable and full of regulars. Clint and Nick were too clean to blend properly but they didn’t stand out quite as bad as Phil and Jasper who both were too clean and straight edged to not stand out anywhere other than a high-end bar. Which was designed to make people like Clint uncomfortable in massive proportions? He was sure of it. It was the first Friday the four of them were actually in the same place since the New Mexico incident. Clint vaguely wondered if Fury came and drank alone or if just went home? Does he do that? HUH, Clint never thought about that before. He was getting sidetracked. Clint was supposed to buy Nick a drink because that was “Normal” According to Tasha and Barney, but Clint felt he shouldn’t take that advice especially if they were agreeing. That was a little terrifying. Maybe a little more than just a little. 

Clint tried to stifle a snort as he watched as Gabriela attempted to pick up Jasper. Clint was pretty sure the only reason he was finding the scene amusing since the last time they were all together they figured out that her husband was cheating on her with her brother. Clint glanced over to Fury briefly and smirked a little more seeing the slight smirk on his face. It was a rare thing to see and Clint loved it. He wanted to see more of it. Clint leaned over and nudged Nick with his shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows at the older man. “Ten bucks say's it takes Jasper Ten minutes to tell her to back off,” Fury Mumbled into Clint's ear that sent shivers running down the archer's spine and goosebumps rising on his exposed arms. Clint swallowed down a lump the size of an Italian plum and nodded his. “You’re on grumps,” Clint mumbled and gave Nick a light punch in the thigh. As usual, Fury was right on the money and Clint had to pay up. This was them attempting to flirt. Not that either party was aware of it.

Phil bites back a silent groan when Clint called Fury grumps. They were so oblivious it hurt, but part of the bet with Jasper was that neither of them could interfere in Clint and Nick actually wising up. Phil’s eyebrows knitted together as Fury slipped the ten dollar bill into the pocket of Clint’s pants neatly folded. Well, that was new. Phil politely excused himself to go and get a drink and confide in Jasper about the recent revolution. It still wasn’t normal flirting. But it was almost affectionate. Truth be told Phil wasn’t sure if his boss was ever affectionate with another human, or if it was just saved for his cat. Even then he wasn’t affectionate with it in a normal way. It was more from a distance. Phil leaned a forearm on the counter with his back to the table just in case Clint tried to read his lips. “Nick slipped the bet money Clint lost back into his pocket,” Phil said lowly and took a moment to revel in the stunned look on his friends face. “You’re shitting me,” Jasper said in the same conspiratorial tone his eyes flicking over Phil’s shoulder to the pair at the table and the back to Phil at least three times as if someone had grown a second. Though Phil doubted that would surprise any of them at this point in the game. Phil simply nodded and ordered another Gin and Tonic fingers absently peeling large chunks off the what he was assuming at one point used to be a handsome strip of red oak. Now it was just abused and well questionable like the carpet. Like what the four of them were doing here. Almost like their existence in the ever-expanding universe. 

Clint turned to say something to Nick only to stop short realizing just how close he had gotten and there was the solid feeling of his forearm resting on Clint's shoulder like his own personal armrest. “Hey there...You’re all up in my space.” Clint said with a bit of a nervous laugh. Nick really was an imposing figure despite all the things that made him want to curl up and sleep with his face buried into the man’s chest.  
1\. His poker face was the be all end all of Poker faces.  
2.That damn leather trench coat. Sure it was hot and smells great when it was mixed in with the smell of Fury's cologne. ( And he threw heat like a living heater.)  
3.The eye patch was worrisome. Clint was generally considered about the man's depth perception because he only has one eye. Not that he would admit that.  
4.He’s more of a badass than Clint could ever be.  
Yeah, that basically summed it all up. Clint had almost forgotten that he said anything to Nick about the sudden invasion of his personal space until the older man actually spoke. “So? What are you going to do about it?” Nick rose his eyebrows as he spoke. There it was again. That godforsaken shiver that ran down Clint’s spine. Clint shrugged and reached up and gave Nicks cheek a pat and threw him his signature lopsided grin. Clint dropped his arm down heavily to the table. Nose wrinkling and hiss at the clunk of his wrist connecting with the wood. “Dumbass.” Nick rumbled somewhere by his ear, and before Clint was really sure what was going on his hand was being scooped up and the inside of his wrist was kissed. Clint would have melted if it was physically possible right then and there. “Buy you a coffee?” Clint asked a lot more shy than he would like to admit to. “Yes” Was all Nick said before he was on his feet and exiting the bar Clint hot on his heels. The pair was gone Before Phil and Jasper turned around. “Told you they’d sort it out before the first alien invasion,” Phil said triumphantly and grinning at the vacant table.


End file.
